"What? You were told what?" L. demanded!

" You have got to be kidding me! " L. blurted out in disbelief.  

Shocked, L. continued to listen intently to her young friend explain why she had called her.  B. was extremely agitated and upset as she tried to tell L. how her latest appointment had gone.

B. was a young single mother who had asked L. to help her with her legal issues involving child services and although L. was reluctant at first she had agreed to advocate and support B. as best she could during that time.  Listening to her young friend slowly unravel during that phone call sparked a fire within and as she heard B. take a breath L. quickly assured her that everything would be fine.

When B. finished her rant L. again, reassured her friend that things would be okay and the two ladies made arrangements to meet at L.'s the following morning for coffee and a chat.  It did take some convincing on L.'s part to calm B., but satisfied her friend would make it through the night without a melt down L. said her goodbyes and shut off her phone before allowing the conversation she had just had with B. settle in her head. 

So much to process L. mussed as she headed for the comfort of her living room and the rocking chair that was her special spot.  Her dog greeted her as she settled on the rocking chair and a quick pet had Spit happy and content enough to curl up by L.'s feet.  L. began to rock back and forth slowly as she allowed every word B. said to completely sink in.  She felt betrayed and shocked as she rocked and thought about the words B. repeated.  Words she had long ago erased from her life hoping to never hear them again.

As she rocked in her happy place L. began to open her mind to the memories she had long ago buried.

She reflected on her own past with child services and all of the work she had done to ensure crap like that which B. had been told would never appear in her life again. Personal private information that was long ago deemed historically inaccurate by the very services B. was dealing with.  The very people who had done a background and criminal check on L. before giving their permission for L. to become B.'s advocate and support. 

As confusing as it was for L. she knew her friend was the one who would be more confused and it was B. who needed L.'s help not the other way around.  All the incentive she needed L. muttered to herself as she continued her rocking.  Allowing the momentum of the chair to sooth her L. used her time to plan out how she would handle B.'s latest news.  She could spend the next few days guessing the motives of the child services' workers L. realized, but that was not going to help B.  L.'s experiences from the past had enabled her to assist B. with her parenting skills, her interactions with the workers assigned to her case along with supervising B.'s visits with her little one.  They had lawyers meetings and court dates together and not once did L. allow her past to cloud her judgement which made the latest news all the more messed up L. thought as she stopped her chair and stood up.   L. stretched and glanced at the clock as she walked toward the kitchen with Spit following close behind her.  L. realized she had spent three hours in her chair and quickly began preparing the evening meal when Spit began scratching  at the door to be let out.  L. slipped her frozen dinner in the oven before opening the door for Spit and decided to join the dog outside while her meal cooked. She lit a smoke and began tossing a ball for Spit.  Watching her dog enjoy catching the ball made L. smile and she forgot the negative for a few minutes but just as fast, L.'s mind bounced right back to the days events with B. Butting her smoke L. looked over at Spit and motioned towards the door.

She ate in silence that night, reflecting on the present day and those days from her past.  L. would see B. the next day and as she prepared for bed she reminded herself that it was all for B. and B.'s child.  L. was a strong woman and over the years her strength had been put to the test so she knew the situation with B. and the child services workers would not be the downfall of that strength.  With that thought L. retired for the night with Spit right by her side.

Bright and early the next morning L. woke up feeling more tired than rested. Her night was a restless one as those memories she had buried long ago began battling for release from the prison she had built for them.  A place in her mind where she had hoped they would have stayed with no chance or reason for release.